If I were going to die in one week

If I were going to die in one week, I know what I would do.

     On the first day I wouldn't cry, or worry, or freak out at all. I would Eat as much food as possible, and watch every movie I had ever heard of.
     On the second day, I would go to disneyland and take pictures with all the characters.
     On the third day, I would tell my close friends and family. We would stay up late and reminisce about my life and the things i've done.
     On the fourth day, I would walk around by myself, hike up mountains and fall asleep outside looking at the stars. I would start to wonder why I didn't do this more often.
     On the fifth day I would write letters to my family and friends, telling them how much I love them, and how much they helped my in my life. I would tell my mom that it's okay that she wasn't there, I kept all the childhood birthday cards. I'll tell her it's okay that she missed my graduation because she was in jail. She'll know that she was loved, even when I didn't know her. I would tell my dad that he is was my rock. I'll tell him that I love him more than anyone else living on this earth. I'll tell him that I really did hate being home alone while he was out drinking, and how much I appreciated him threatening to kill any boy who talked to me. I'll tell him to have an open mind about church, and it's okay to love God more than others, because you're supposed to. I'll tell my three best friends that I couldn't have survived so long without them. I'll thank one of them for being my confidence, I'll tell one of them that they're beautiful just the size they are, and I'll tell the last one that I've always blamed myself for the scars on her arm, because she saw mine before hers appeared, and I couldn't help her more. I'll tell my baby cousin that she's perfect just the way she is, and her sass made me smile, and her laugh cures sickness. I'll tell her I'm sorry for not being able to be there when she grows up.
     On the sixth day I would dial your number to tell you what's happening. Then I would chicken out and hang up before you answer. On the sixth day I would convince myself that you don't care. Then that you do. Then that you don't. Then I would walk to your house and we would talk for a while, but I still wouldn't tell you what's happening. I wouldn't tell you that tomorrow is my last day on his earth. I would ask about your life, just to find out if you are doing okay, to see if you need someone to hold you before it's too late. You don't need me. I would go home. Now, I would cry.
     On the seventh day I would go back to your house. I would not cry. I would not cry. I would not cry. I cry. You don't understand. I would tell you everything. I would tell you that you were more than a friend to me. That every time you touched me I loved you more. I would tell you that you broke my heart, and no one but you ever tried to fix it, but every time you did fix it, you broke it again. I would tell you that I hate you. I would tell you that I love you. I would tell you that I wouldn't be your friend because it was hard. So hard. I tried though. Because even if I wasn't as important to you, you were my favorite person in the entire world. For you I would have crossed galaxies and painted your name on every star but instead, the stars were left bland because your name was never mine to claim. Always more than friends, but less that a relationship. Always, I like you, but never in public. Then, i would tell you. I would tell you that this is my last day on earth. I wouldn't tell you to make you sad, I would tell you just to give you the slightest idea of how much love I have for you: So much love I would spend my last hours on the planet with you, rather than trying to meet celebrities, or seeing the most beautiful things in the world, because to me your eyes are better crafted than any sculpture, and your smile is more breathtaking than any painting.